This Body

Wearing this black dress from Boohoo really tested my resolve to document my style journey. After many years of wishing and finding every reason why I couldn’t be a style blogger or lifestyle blogger, I finally told myself it was time. The primary obstacle had been my lack of body confidence. I just don’t know how to deal with my body. So, I avoided my body as much as possible.

That strategy of avoidance has worked until I realized it was the primary impediment to my happiness. So I decide to change my relationship with my body by taking more pictures of my body. This meant buying more clothes.

I recently bought some clothes from Boohoo because I got a great discount deal. I was a bit hesistant when I saw the clothes because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be show off my curves. I bought things that appeared to be on the more modest spectrum of Boohoo. I loved this black dress in particular because of its length. It also has non-functional gold buttons down the front, giving it an interesting detail. I figured it would be a good staple closet item for the winter. Items arrived, I tried it on and it was okay.

Picture day with the black faux button down dress happened…and it freaking sent me into an emotional meltdown. I just did not like how sexy my body looked. I kept saying, “I don’t want to be a porn star.” Yes, I can be a bit melodramatic. Sue me! However, when the moment passed and I started looking over the picture again, I realized that I was having a reaction because I saw my body. I wasn’t in a baggy sweater and pants. The dress showed off my shape in all its glory. There is nothing wrong with that.

After having this moment with this black dress, I am sure I am going to have so much fun layering it for the winter. Because it fits so well, I am excited to layer it with chunky sweaters and bulky scarfs. To me, there is nothing as beautiful as playing with texture and fit in my outfit.